Loyality isn't for everyone, just like marriage,kids,happiness,careers,and so on!!!!

I have to be honest. I have dreamt of my future way before it has even came to me. This happened around the time i was 12. I have seen that my happiness was at my hometown. Florida. where all my raising began. the thing is as i had that dream, all i did was stay myself and keep that as that, but when i heard i had to move to new york, every bit of me that i knew has left and went to a whole different turn for the worst. I took myself and grabbed another life once i had discovered sex. i was 14 at the time and it was really good to my liking. so much that i had sex with my first mate. my baby father. yes me gotten pregnant not knowing i had been because i had sex unprotectedly. then also had been raped in the process, which scared my ever loving life to be alive. i have been throught this much pain and anguish. I hated the thought of how much shit i had to get myself to gather. the rape thing wasn't apart of my vision but i was a lesson. no more for me to ever see what was to come next. which was me meeting my second baby father. a few years after i had graduated. i had loved the thought of being in the mist of doing something right. smiles and all. but my second babyfather was just a mishappened thing where all my real me life got sucked out and made me feel like shit to the world. that is something that was the worst in me that turned even more worrisome. i catered i loved i nutured and i stayed in something i should have left alone and never to return cause of what things i knew of him. i took all this in and made my life misiable all on my own. he was just a man i thought i lo